Full Term Pregnancy Glow and Pelvic Arthropathy
Current status: 37 weeks, 4 days. What I would like to be writing is that in this beautiful weather I have been spending care-free time with my family basking in full term pregnancy glow. We even have gorgeous pregnancy photos which would suggest this….
But this is not the whole truth. I have been really struggling at the tail end of pregnancy and in wanting to keep up with the ‘super mum’ act have kept rather quite about it. However, a big part of my business is sharing authentically some of the realities of motherhood and for me there has been another side to the third trimester.
Please do not think I am just going to launch into a tirade of complaints about the negative aspects of pregnancy. I feel incredibly privileged to have such problems. We wanted this baby so badly, experienced the devastation of a miscarriage and went through the first stage of assisted reproductive therapy to conceive our miracle baby. All along this journey, even now, we have experienced the pure joy that pregnancy brings. A couple of nights ago lying on the couch my husband watched in awe as my tummy moved and morphed around. Our Little Bean kicking and pushing and generally telling the world they are nearly ready – it was like a scene from the movies. Our 2 year old son is constantly fascinated by my tummy and wants to see it, touch it, kiss it all the time – such precious, priceless memories.
It really is that the media portrays such an image we should be happily pregnant ALL the time. What photos and videos do not show is some of the physical complications that can occur and most definitely do not show the huge emotional (hormone driven) thoughts that can make you feel like you are indeed losing your marbles.
As some of you know I have been experiencing considerable pelvic pain from about week 30 of my second pregnancy. I now know that this is called ‘Pelvic Arthropathy. Which is a medical term to cover a range of pelvic related pain during pregnancy. In my case, the combination of my pelvic alignment (made significantly worse by constantly carrying a toddler), the hormone relaxin moving the pelvic bones and public symphysis and just a dose of bad luck (by that I mean it is just the card I was dealt with) has meant my pelvic bones have been grating together – and yes it truly is as painful as it sounds.
Since week 35 this pain has stepped up considerably for me – to the point where pain is there constantly and when I ‘do’ something like stand up, get out of bed, put on a pair of pants, pick up our toddler, walk about the distance to the end of our driveway – pain just radiates through my entire nervous system. It has become incredibly debilitating and I have battled to stay positive. The impact on my family has been well beyond what we were prepared for.
I now cannot look after our son on my own. Not even for an hour. He is a VERY active, and not being able to pick him up, take him to the park or change a nappy has become heart breaking. I have of course attempted these things (and still do) however, the end result has been curling into a ball, almost foetal position with ice between my legs, gritting my teeth and praying the waves of pain will end.
What has been the hardest part is not knowing how long we have to cope with this, as full term is from 37-42 weeks. At 35 weeks this meant knowing I could have another 7 weeks of this – with a new-born baby to cope with at the end. Not quite how I imagined things to look. I thought it would be like the movies. Walking around the park hand-in-hand with my husband while my son runs off and plays with our puppy……
Ironically working is one thing I CAN DO. Simply because it involves sitting, not having to move too much. The wonders of technology today!!! Given our significant career goals this year this has really helped. I have contemplated having ‘time-off’ but to be honest that is not in my nature and work has given me a sense of purpose, achievement and fulfilment (and to be quite frank I never see my work as separate from ‘life’). It has also helped to take my mind off the challenges we have faced.
When I saw my midwife at 35 weeks I just broke down in the office and said I was just exhausted – mentally battling with the pain each day was so draining and at night the pain was often at its worst. But I questioned if it was just in my head. My midwife was incredibly understanding and said it was very real, some women end up in a wheel-chair. This thought horrified me. I was resolved to toughen up, and hopefully be able to keep going….a week later I knew this was not the case.
I thought back to when Arjun was a new-born and I did not seek help soon enough with my mastitis - and I promptly rang my midwife. She did not hesitate and booked me to see an obstetrician at the hospital on the 31st of December - it was a 10 day count down until then – all mini goals to keep us going. Both my husband and I have struggled with the change in roles. Not being able to physically do something really gets me down. And it has been difficult to see my husband doing tasks that I would normally do with Arjun. Or even being able to tag team like we would – I generally would have taken Arjun to the park in the morning and given hubby a much needed sleep in (I am better in the mornings, he is better in the evenings). In the face of all this he has been absolutely amazing, hands down and has taken extended time off work.
The obstetrician appointment finally came around. She did not even hesitate but said unless Little Bean decides to come early on their own accord, they will induce me at 38 weeks as there is potentially going to be further complications from being so immobile.
I have experienced a wave of emotions since this, as it will mean delivering without my usual mid-wife who is on holiday until the 16th. It also means – WHOLLY MOLLY we are having a baby very soon!!!!! I guess in my mind I still had until the 20th. I am still questioning if this is the ‘right’ plan. Will there be an effect on our baby delivering early. Will they have trouble breathing, latching, developing? Will there be complications at birth? I had a totally natural birth with Arjun, will I in fact need pain relief? Does this make me less of a women that I have not ‘coped’ until the very end of pregnancy? Should I just keep trying to hold on to this baby until they are fully ready?
I am also slightly excited – the time has come, we are going to meet our Little Bean finally!!! We also have a deadline which fits so well with my personality and ability to organise and plan (….quickly followed by the thought is this wrong?). Ahhhh darn emotional irrational thoughts.
The ice pack, the swiss ball, and smiley belt have become part of everyday life now – to the point that now when Arjun falls over he asks for the "ice pack mummy" as that is what you do when you are sore!! He also ‘helps’ me up the stairs from the car “help mummy, Arjun help mummy” giving me his little hand. Unbelievable what a 2 year old can pick up and take on!
This is going to be a big week for us, trying to prepare for everything….can you ever truly prepare for a baby though?
This blog is not suggesting that every women who has pelvic arthopathy will experience the same symptoms. Nor is it intended to give medical advice. Any concerns must be directed at your lead maternity carer. I do hope however, it may help some one who, like me experiences both the incredible joy of pregnancy as well as some challenges - and that it is human to not be happy all of the time.
xxx The New Mum's Nutritionist
But this is not the whole truth. I have been really struggling at the tail end of pregnancy and in wanting to keep up with the ‘super mum’ act have kept rather quite about it. However, a big part of my business is sharing authentically some of the realities of motherhood and for me there has been another side to the third trimester.
Please do not think I am just going to launch into a tirade of complaints about the negative aspects of pregnancy. I feel incredibly privileged to have such problems. We wanted this baby so badly, experienced the devastation of a miscarriage and went through the first stage of assisted reproductive therapy to conceive our miracle baby. All along this journey, even now, we have experienced the pure joy that pregnancy brings. A couple of nights ago lying on the couch my husband watched in awe as my tummy moved and morphed around. Our Little Bean kicking and pushing and generally telling the world they are nearly ready – it was like a scene from the movies. Our 2 year old son is constantly fascinated by my tummy and wants to see it, touch it, kiss it all the time – such precious, priceless memories.
It really is that the media portrays such an image we should be happily pregnant ALL the time. What photos and videos do not show is some of the physical complications that can occur and most definitely do not show the huge emotional (hormone driven) thoughts that can make you feel like you are indeed losing your marbles.
As some of you know I have been experiencing considerable pelvic pain from about week 30 of my second pregnancy. I now know that this is called ‘Pelvic Arthropathy. Which is a medical term to cover a range of pelvic related pain during pregnancy. In my case, the combination of my pelvic alignment (made significantly worse by constantly carrying a toddler), the hormone relaxin moving the pelvic bones and public symphysis and just a dose of bad luck (by that I mean it is just the card I was dealt with) has meant my pelvic bones have been grating together – and yes it truly is as painful as it sounds.
Since week 35 this pain has stepped up considerably for me – to the point where pain is there constantly and when I ‘do’ something like stand up, get out of bed, put on a pair of pants, pick up our toddler, walk about the distance to the end of our driveway – pain just radiates through my entire nervous system. It has become incredibly debilitating and I have battled to stay positive. The impact on my family has been well beyond what we were prepared for.
I now cannot look after our son on my own. Not even for an hour. He is a VERY active, and not being able to pick him up, take him to the park or change a nappy has become heart breaking. I have of course attempted these things (and still do) however, the end result has been curling into a ball, almost foetal position with ice between my legs, gritting my teeth and praying the waves of pain will end.
What has been the hardest part is not knowing how long we have to cope with this, as full term is from 37-42 weeks. At 35 weeks this meant knowing I could have another 7 weeks of this – with a new-born baby to cope with at the end. Not quite how I imagined things to look. I thought it would be like the movies. Walking around the park hand-in-hand with my husband while my son runs off and plays with our puppy……
Ironically working is one thing I CAN DO. Simply because it involves sitting, not having to move too much. The wonders of technology today!!! Given our significant career goals this year this has really helped. I have contemplated having ‘time-off’ but to be honest that is not in my nature and work has given me a sense of purpose, achievement and fulfilment (and to be quite frank I never see my work as separate from ‘life’). It has also helped to take my mind off the challenges we have faced.
When I saw my midwife at 35 weeks I just broke down in the office and said I was just exhausted – mentally battling with the pain each day was so draining and at night the pain was often at its worst. But I questioned if it was just in my head. My midwife was incredibly understanding and said it was very real, some women end up in a wheel-chair. This thought horrified me. I was resolved to toughen up, and hopefully be able to keep going….a week later I knew this was not the case.
I thought back to when Arjun was a new-born and I did not seek help soon enough with my mastitis - and I promptly rang my midwife. She did not hesitate and booked me to see an obstetrician at the hospital on the 31st of December - it was a 10 day count down until then – all mini goals to keep us going. Both my husband and I have struggled with the change in roles. Not being able to physically do something really gets me down. And it has been difficult to see my husband doing tasks that I would normally do with Arjun. Or even being able to tag team like we would – I generally would have taken Arjun to the park in the morning and given hubby a much needed sleep in (I am better in the mornings, he is better in the evenings). In the face of all this he has been absolutely amazing, hands down and has taken extended time off work.
The obstetrician appointment finally came around. She did not even hesitate but said unless Little Bean decides to come early on their own accord, they will induce me at 38 weeks as there is potentially going to be further complications from being so immobile.
I have experienced a wave of emotions since this, as it will mean delivering without my usual mid-wife who is on holiday until the 16th. It also means – WHOLLY MOLLY we are having a baby very soon!!!!! I guess in my mind I still had until the 20th. I am still questioning if this is the ‘right’ plan. Will there be an effect on our baby delivering early. Will they have trouble breathing, latching, developing? Will there be complications at birth? I had a totally natural birth with Arjun, will I in fact need pain relief? Does this make me less of a women that I have not ‘coped’ until the very end of pregnancy? Should I just keep trying to hold on to this baby until they are fully ready?
I am also slightly excited – the time has come, we are going to meet our Little Bean finally!!! We also have a deadline which fits so well with my personality and ability to organise and plan (….quickly followed by the thought is this wrong?). Ahhhh darn emotional irrational thoughts.
The ice pack, the swiss ball, and smiley belt have become part of everyday life now – to the point that now when Arjun falls over he asks for the "ice pack mummy" as that is what you do when you are sore!! He also ‘helps’ me up the stairs from the car “help mummy, Arjun help mummy” giving me his little hand. Unbelievable what a 2 year old can pick up and take on!
This is going to be a big week for us, trying to prepare for everything….can you ever truly prepare for a baby though?
This blog is not suggesting that every women who has pelvic arthopathy will experience the same symptoms. Nor is it intended to give medical advice. Any concerns must be directed at your lead maternity carer. I do hope however, it may help some one who, like me experiences both the incredible joy of pregnancy as well as some challenges - and that it is human to not be happy all of the time.
xxx The New Mum's Nutritionist
[…] you will have no doubt picked up! This blog follows on from the one I wrote nearly two weeks ago (read here). I am a qualified health professional but I am first and foremost a mum. I hope that in sharing […]
ReplyDelete[…] – which was a fairly text book natural birth. Most of you will have read my earlier blogs (37 weeks and 39 weeks) about the challenges I encountered during the later stages of my pregnancy with […]
ReplyDelete[…] just!) carrying him to full term. Broken in ways I did not know my body could break (see previous blogs). Photographs do not tell the full story. I could barely walk. I was induced early just to get my […]
ReplyDeleteHello Julie. I just happened to stumble across your blog today...(instead I should be working!?)... I read through your story about Pelvic Arthropathy and tears started rolling down my cheeks, as I remembered going through this with all three of my children.
ReplyDeleteThe excrutiating pain, and frustration of not being able to use my body how it should still haunts me. My memories of missing out on crucial moments with no.1, and then even more so with both no.s.1&2 while I carried no.3 (who is now nearly at school), still hurts me when I think about how I was feeling at the time.
The worst time was with my third, when I moved from crutches to a wheelchair just to get around. On top of not being able to move freely, during my no.3 pregnancy, my amazing husband who works so hard for our family lost his job and had to work out of town for the most part of my third pregnancy..when I needed him most. We had no family near us either. I tried to seek some type of home-help via my doctors but there was (and I assume still is) no help available - unless the pain was caused by an 'accident', which clearly it was not.
I did manage to trudge on through my final pregnancy, relying on some amazing friends and other people in our community. And the labour went perfectly, with the pain almost gone once my son was born.
I would love to help other mothers who are going through this terrible 'condition', as I know only too well how depressing and horrible this can make a woman's pregnancy feel. Or, even come up with a home-help type service for women in the community who cannot cope during pregnancy...
XX
Thank you Michelle - you are truly incredibly going through that so many times. I had no idea how excruciating and depressing it could be. I will never forget the feeling when my placenta came out - like a weight an enormous weight had finally lifted from me. Like you we had little family help but I have no idea how you coped without your hubby - mine totally carried the load, we ended up taking weeks of work at the end as I could barely do anything - we too looked at help options but there was nothing available - I do think there is a real need here. I am actually a Board member of the Cherish Trust (formally the postnatal distress support network) so I will def hold onto this idea!
ReplyDeleteive just found this blog and can complete see where you are coming from. My kids are 7 and 5 and I had severe problems with my pelvis and hips throughout the whole of the pregnancies. Unfortunately it seemed like I was getting worse after the youngest and 2 years later they took me seriously and turns out my pelvis had separated. It has take 3 operations to chop out damaged bone, do bone grafts, metal plates and it looks like I'm doomed to a wheelchair forever now. Because of the pregnancies I have developed pretty bad osteoarthritis in both hips and none conditions which causes chronic pain in the bones in my pelvis. Shocking to think this is all due to something meant to be so natural. Because my condition is so rare I struggle to find others that gone through similar. I do hope your issues have cleared up after your baby's arrival and wish you luck x
ReplyDeleteJulie,
ReplyDeleteI Stumbled across this article after reading your postpartum article and birthing article on facebook. when I saw the term pelvic athropathy I decided to look it up as I have had severe pelvic pain since about 18-20 weeks. My OB and I originally thought it was just pressure and that a pelvic girdle would help. It didn't. At about 24 weeks I cam across an article about symphisis pubis dysfunction which almost sounds the same as pelvic athropathy and I cam going to see my OB and insist they investigate further. Some days the pain is unbearable. Getting out of bed, out of the car or off the couch cause be excruciating and bring me to my knees. I can no longer carry my 4 year old or walk long distances. I am already a high risk pregnancy being induced at 38 weeks but I cannot fathom another 12 weeks of this. Any suggestions? I will also to keep reminding myself of your mantra....I am beautiful, I am amazing, I am a mother. It was a very touching and real story and I am glad you shared it with us.
Hi Holly, oh I am feeling your pain. I remember being 10 weeks out and thinking I will never make it. I went to an osteopath - wished I had gone sooner, if you can find one, esp one that specialises in pre and post pregnancy it will be worth it I promise. I also would put an ice pack/frozen peas between my legs (sexy as hell) every evening and often in bed as well - esp if I woke up in the night in pain. Spending time on your knees (may need a pillow) and lent over a swiss ball will also help to elevate some pressure off your pelvis - I also found this helpful when in labor too. Hang in there, I know it seems like an eternity esp when your not able to do anything with your older child but (like all things) eventually it will pass xxx
ReplyDeleteHallo :)
ReplyDeleteI'm writing from Denmark, Europe. I just found your blog to day, but I already love it! Love your honesty about thoughts and feelings and the body changes.
I had problems with my pelvis in my pregnancy to :( I had to stop working when I was 11 weeks in :( It was sooo hard for me, psychologically. I felt like I wasn't a real woman because I couldn't be pregnant like you see in the movies. I was in so much pain every day and I could only sit on my a** every day. So hard. And when the doctor after beeing in labour for 50 hours said that they had to cut him out, I felt like a looser again :( now I couldn't even give birth like a woman. It was really hard on me.
But like you I think that my wunderfull son it worth it all!
Thank you for at great blog!
-Camilla :)
[…] just!) carrying him to full term. Broken in ways I did not know my body could break (see previous blogs). Photographs do not tell the full story. I could barely walk. I was induced early just to get my […]
ReplyDelete